


Hopeless For You

by orphan_account



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Bisexual, Fluff, High School AU, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Normal AU, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, References to Depression, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 00:57:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6064837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon Snow is useless.<br/>Worse than useless, maybe.<br/>Hopeless and pointless and meaningless and stupid.<br/>Broken.<br/>Or just in love.<br/>Or just heartbroken.<br/>Or just infatuated.<br/>//////////////                                                                        <br/>There’s a boy staring at Baz Pitch.<br/>That golden, loud boy who used to date Agatha Wellbelove. The one with the big smile and blue eyes and moles and messy curls.<br/>Snow.<br/>The one with the broad shoulders and chapped lips and freckles and tawny skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Simon Snow is useless.

Worse than useless, maybe.

Hopeless and pointless and meaningless and stupid.

Broken.

Or just in love.

Or just heartbroken.

Or just infatuated.

Basilton Pitch is in his English class. First period, where Simon’s always stupid and half asleep, and also where he can barely string a sentence together.

Simon hates English. The whole bloody language. And he’s pretty sure English hates him, too.

But Baz makes it beautiful, somehow.

Everything about Baz is beautiful. Or pretty, in the way that boys aren’t supposed to be.

He has those big grey eyes, poking out from under black eyelashes, and that cruel, beautiful mouth, and his hair is perfect, all long and silky, falling on his cheeks.

Besides, he looks _really good_ in jeans.

                                                                                                          #############################

There’s a boy _staring_ at Baz Pitch.

That golden, loud boy who used to date Agatha Wellbelove. The one with the big smile and blue eyes and moles and messy curls.

_Snow._

_The one with the broad shoulders and chapped lips and freckles and tawny skin._

He’s wearing a torn gray hoodie and ripped jeans. And not even ripped in a nice way, just old, and his curls are ridiculously tangled, like he’s been running his hands through them.

Still, though....he doesn’t look bad.

He kind of makes Baz’s stomach do backflips.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penny is absent, Agatha is annoyed, Simon is trying very hard not to think about whether he's gay or not, and not trying nearly hard enough to not think about Baz Pitch. Mordelia wakes up very early and tries to steal Baz's coffee, and Shakespeare is discussed very briefly.

“Simon?”

“Huh?”

He looks up, quickly, thoughts scattering like scared pigeons, cheeks flushing a bit, into the eyes of the the girl sitting across from him.

Agatha sighs. She’s wearing a pink sweater, and her white blond hair is up in a high bun, a few wisps escaping to fall on her cheeks and brush her shoulders.

She looks like a ballerina, all elegance and pale pink grace, even with her eyebrows drawn together and her eyes flitting around his face, half annoyance, half worry.

“I said, are you okay?”

“Oh. Oh- I’m fine.”

She rolls her eyes, eyebrows threatening to escape her forehead, but lets it go.

“Where’s Penny?”

“I don’t know. I think she’s sick.”

Actually, Penny’s only pretending to be sick, but telling Agatha that suddenly feels like too much.

“She didn’t tell you anything?” There’s a bit of edge in her voice now, but mostly she just sounds tired. She always seems a bit tired, lately, like every thing Simon says is too childish and silly for her to deal with.

Like every thing he says is wrong.

And he doesn’t even know whether he can make it right anymore.

Or if he wants to.

“No, but if it was something serious...”

“Right. She’d tell you.”

He blinks, and looks down, not sure where his eyes are supposed to go.

He should say something.

He should have said something a while ago.

He knows they’re not in love, but he still misses her. Her smile, her laugh. He wants her somewhere.

But he’s never known what to say. Not with her, not with anyone, really.

“I-I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Yeah...bye”

And then she’s gone.

                                                                                                               /////////////////////////////

“Baz!!!”

“ _Baaaaaz_....get uuuuup!”

“Uuuhhh...sod off.”

“Hey!”

“What time is it, anyway?”

It’s 5 AM, and Baz is, once again, being forced out of bed by his ridiculous, hyperactive stepsister.

Fifteen minutes later they’re sitting in a dark kitchen, and Baz is sipping coffee while Mordelia tries to get him to make her some.

“You’re too young, it’ll stunt your growth.”

“You’re young. Don’t act like you’re all grown up, you still grow.”

He laughs at that, and runs his hand through his still messy black hair, looking down at her with the realest smile he ever gives anyone.

“I’m already tall, Mordi. Drink your tea.”

She scrunches her eyebrows and pouts at him, growling impressively.

“I _hate_ tea. I _want coffee_.“

She stresses every word, even while keeping her voice low.

He raises his eyebrows in mock outrage, lifting his chin and glaring down at her.

“How _dare_ you.

She stresses every word, even while keeping her voice low.

He raises his eyebrows in mock outrage, and she giggles.

                                                                                                            ////////////////////////////////////

It’s eight, and Simon’s a mess.

Which isn’t unusual, really.

But he’s just starting the day, and he’s already falling apart. Burning spectacularly.

Maybe the teacher will ignore him.

Then he can just watch the boy in the desk in front of him and try not to think about how he has a crush on the posh kid who wears his hair slicked back and knows words in fucking _Latin_ and looks absolutely evil.

~~Evil in a cute way.~~

Which is ridiculous, because he’s not even _gay._

At least, he doesn’t think so.

                                                                                                         ////////////////////////////

Baz is trying not to look behind him when the teacher starts assigning partners for a project.

He’s always doing that, assigning group projects and then have the whole class work on only that for days. He doesn’t even let people choose their partners, just assigns them himself.

Last time, Baz got saddled with Gareth. It was a nightmare, but then, the teacher always puts whoever they deem the best student with a disaster.

This time, he put Baz with Simon Snow.

Fucking of course.

Snow looks surprised and disheveled, like he just woke up, and he flushes red when I raise an eyebrow at him.

It almost makes me blush.

We push our desks together, and he gives me an uncharacteristically shy smile. He has very perfect teeth, like a commercial, like he was made smiling.

I nodded at him, and he faltered a bit.

“I-I’m Simon Snow.”

“Baz Pitch,” I reach out a hand and he shakes it awkwardly, looking oddly embarrassed.

“So…what- what’s the project about, again?”

I resist the urge to smile and lean back in my chair, crossing my ankles.

“Shakespeare. Shouldn’t be too hard.”

He laughs nervously, and my heart starts to beat a little quicker.

                                                                                                        ////////////////////////////////////////

Baz Pitch is smiling at Simon Snow, and for a second Simon doesn’t even care that he’s awkward and stupid or that he has no idea about whatever project can be described as just ‘Shakespeare’, because Baz has a perfect smile. He really should do it more. It’s the kind of thing that makes you want to make him do it again, that makes you feel almost blessed by it.

Make him laugh, make him smile, make him glow.

Simon would do anything, in that second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this. Honestly, I've just been having really bad writer's block and being generally useless and I just needed to make myself do something, so I went to my two favorite nerds. Talk to me about them on tumblr [here](http://thegirlwhoneverlives.tumblr.com/)!!!! Tell me what you think in the comments, and leave kudos if you like it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I know this is really short, but there will be more soon.


End file.
